For us, Mother’s Day 2019 is all about the things we’ve got from our mamas - whoever that may be. From your biological, adopted or step mum to a big sister, friend or uncle, we’re celebrating all mother figures.Radhika, or Rads, as she’s better known in RI HQ is one third of all girl trio, with mum Katie and Auntie, Rakhi. We caught up to talk culture, family life and upcoming nuptials...
What’s unique about your family?
Rads: There are a lot of things! Finding respect out in spite of many differing opinions. And knowing that if you were ever in trouble, you can pick up the phone anytime.
Rakhi: Everyone is there for each other I think.
Katie: If someone is in trouble, we’ll get the family round and help them resolve the problem.
Rakhi: We’ve had a lot of circumstances and mishaps in our family and I think it’s taught us lessons on how to be stronger for each other and be there. We’ve all got through it. We all think about each other before we do anything.
Do you think that’s something quite special to Indian families?
Katie: Yeah it’s reflective of our culture. We try and resolve things within the four walls of the family.
Rads: Your problem is my problem. We’ve blended the roles so sometimes I can act like a mother to both my mum and aunt and offer them advice. My dad is more of a mother figure and my mum is more of a father figure in that she’s strong and resilient.
Do you think you’ve bashed the stereotype that often come with women in Indian families?
Katie: After having a baby I went back to work. I didn’t just sit at home - my husband worked night shifts and looked after the kids while I was at work and then we swapped. I went back to work after three months and I had a good job. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted to do. I wasn’t held back.
Rakhi: The roles keep reversing but you get on with it.
Rakhi: You fall, it breaks you, it hurts you but then you pick up the pieces and you rise again and you deal with it. The tears are always there but then the laughter comes and they’re swept away. The unconditional love we have in our family is important.
Rads: It’s funny because you can tell when someone in the family is hurting. You don’t even need to say anything but you let them know you’re there with an action. There’s a lot of Indian women in our family and none of them are silent!
How many women are there?
Rads: 20! It’s an army of women!
Do you have an early memory of your mum?
Rads: When I was six, we moved from Birmingham to London and my dad was still in Birmingham for a couple of months. I think it was a big deal for my mum to be separated from him so I used to spend my nights in bed with my mum playing Indian music, watching movies together and eating ice cream in bed. Things that wouldn’t be allowed normally but we just used to sit there and giggle. One night she was spooning me and I was like ‘mum, why are you hugging me?’ and she just said sorry. I think she thought I was her husband! She just rolled away!
Katie: That still happens now though! Her dad goes to India quite a lot and then it’s just us two having moments together, watching a movie, cuddling. And she bullies me because I’m small. But Radhika is a pillar of support for both me and her dad. She’s come a long way.
What about you and your auntie?
Rads: Letting us stay up until 4am, watching Bridget Jones’ Diary and being fed popcorn. My Aunt used to live with my Grandma, and she’d wake up at 4am to go to the temple every morning and my Aunt would say to us, you can go upstairs but don’t make any noise so Grandma doesn’t think it’s that late! We’d go shopping together and people would always think she was my mum and she’d get really offended like, “excuse me, don’t you know the age difference!”
What did you learn from your mum?
Rads: Respecting your elders. Being optimistic and hopeful with whatever you do and do it with a full heart. Good vibes will come back to you. I’ll come home and sometimes I’ll fight with my mum because we have two conflicting opinions, but knowing we’re in a comfortable place where we can discuss it makes us see each other’s viewpoint. That’s a big lesson from mum and is something I hope to pass onto my daughter or son.
And what about your aunt?
Rads: My madness, my cheekiness. My sassiness. How to be sensible but have a fun side. Strength and laughter and how to find the silver lining in any situation. And also, believing in love. If you find someone and believe in it 100%, good vibes will come your way.
What do you guys want for Mother’s Day?
Rads: A successful wedding! [laughs]
