lifestyle

In conversation with Faris, Sandeep and Jess

This Autumn, we’re celebrating our partnership with mental health charity Mind to bring people closer together. 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem every year and we believe that no one should face this alone. When you invest in RI outerwear this season you’ll be investing in better mental health for all.

Meet Faris, Sandeep and Jess, three people have been working with Mind to raise awareness of mental health problems. Since the start of their journeys they’ve learnt how to manage their mental health better and the importance of asking for help when they need it. We chatted to them to find out more and hear their invaluable advice …

FARIS KHALIFA

Tell us a bit about yourself

My name is Faris Khalifa, I’m a 33-year-old writer. My hobbies include makeup, playing guitar and cat whispering.

Talk us through your mental health journey?

I was first diagnosed with PTSD and depression when I had to move into care at a young age. It’s been a long and tough journey where with each step I take, I learn more of who I am as a person.

Do you use any support groups?

I tend to use online forums and online video games to reach out to other people that I can relate to. Forging human connections has been a lifeline for me on more than one occasion.

Who are the people you lean on?

The first person that comes to mind is my grandma. We aren’t related by blood; she was one of my carers when I lived in a children’s home. She adopted me into her family and has been my number one cheerleader for 16 years.

What methods of self-care do you find most helpful to your mental health?

I find that writing can be extremely cathartic and effective when it comes to self expression. Putting my struggles into words somehow helps me feel more understood and has got me through some rough waters. Another hobby I have picked up is makeup, it further expanded my avenues of self expression and I just love colours.

If you could give someone struggling with their mental health one piece of advice, what would it be?

My one piece of advice would be to remind them that there is never any shame in seeking help, be it family, friends or professional help.

If you could hug anyone right now, who would it be?

I don’t even have to think about this one, hands down my grandma. We’ve had to be careful – we’ve had no contact since the start of the pandemic. I just can’t wait until I can hug her again.

SANDEEP SAIB

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Sandeep Saib, and I am a mental health advocate. I am a 32-year-old British Indian Sikh Punjabi woman from London.

Talk us through your mental health journey?

I have experienced mental health problems since 2012. I have been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, Body Dysmorphia Disorder (BDD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I hit my lowest point in 2014, where I attempted to take my own life. Since then I’ve had therapy and medication, and I’m now in a much better place.

Do you use any support groups?

I have attended guided therapy groups – such as an online one for people with BDD – and find further support in Facebook self-help groups and the Gurdwara.

Who are the people you lean on?

I have grown up in a family of nine – we are a very close unit. My mum, dad and brother have been my rock having been on my mental health journey with me. We make time every month to get out of the house and talk about our true feelings. This has helped all of us open up, and to help each other where we can. We call it our ‘trust family circle time’.

I also have a network of individuals in the mental health realm who are like family to me. They are like-minded people who understand me. It’s a safe space to share how I’m feeling.

What methods of self-care do you find most helpful to your mental health?

Dancing and singing has been my outlet since I was three years old. Praying at the Gurdwara, keeping a journal, drawing, walking and listening to music helps me too.

If it all gets too much, I close my eyes and ears so I can just hear the inside tune of my body and sync with it. Mindfulness activities like these centre me, helping me to listen to what my body needs.

If you could give someone struggling with their mental health one piece of advice, what would it be?

Talk. Do not struggle in silence. Someone is always ready to listen. Never feel you should fight these battles alone.

Whether it is a loved one or a GP, please reach out for support. It is never too late – talk to someone you trust when the moment is right and you feel comfortable.

Try and research and learn all you can about mental health – knowledge is power.

If you could hug anyone right now, who would it be?

Me! We need to give our bodies the TLC, attention and admiration they deserve. Hold yourself and repeat positive affirmations: “I am strong”, “I am brave”, ‘I am inspiring”. Chant it, remember it and most importantly, believe it.

JESS RILEY

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Jess Riley. I’m 31 years old, love arts and crafts, running and being around animals.

Talk us through your mental health journey?

My mental health started to become a problem when I was 14. Currently, I experience an eating disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD), complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and anxiety.

Do you use any support groups?

I’m part of a running group that focuses on people’s mental health and how it can be improved with exercise. I’ve also previously been to support groups for my BPD and eating disorder. I’m currently looking into groups for PTSD and art therapy.

Who are the people you lean on?

My family and friends and the mental health teams that support me. My family has been through everything with me, through the light and the dark and have never once given up on me. The mental health teams and wards that have worked with me have also saved my life sadly far too many times.

How, if at all, does the winter season impact your mood?

My mood in general is a lot worse in the winter season, especially when it is dark and cold. I also struggle around the festive season due to my eating disorder and all the social events. I also use running as a coping strategy and if it’s icy or snowy it prevents me from going out to do this.

What methods of self-care do you find most helpful to your mental health?

I’m currently training for the London marathon so running is a big mood boost for me. I love being outdoors and around animals (particularly guinea pigs and dogs.) I’m also a very keen crafter and will turn my hand to anything including drawing, painting, and pyrography. It’s when I feel most confident in my abilities and provides me a space free from negative thoughts.

If you could give someone struggling with their mental health one piece of advice, what would it be?

It is so important to talk and be open. If you feel unable to talk to family and friends, try writing it down and giving them a letter. You can also call the Mind Infoline, or visit your GP who you can discuss things with confidentially. They, and Mind, can also signpost you to local support groups.

If you could hug anyone right now, who would it be?

If I could hug anyone I’d choose my grandma, she sadly passed away when I was 18 and I would love her to see just how far I’ve come over the last year or two.