lifestyle

RI Mamma: Talking About Motherhood

To celebrate the launch of our brand new maternity collection, RI Mamma, designed to make you feel confident, strong and, well, like YOU, we hosted a panel talk with The Mum Club all about motherhood. The Mum Club is a community of strong independent women who just happen to have children to talk all things pregnancy, pre and post for both old and new mums alike.

Hosted by The Mum Club co-founders, Jessica Lawes and Lauren Webber, our panelists were author of Milking it, @chantellechamps, talking about her experience breastfeeding. @ola_pelo, whose family have gone viral on TikTok aIlly Morrison from @mixing.up.motherhood talking about how to prepare for post-baby life.

Ready? Let’s get into it ...

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How do you prepare for your baby?

Ola: You can sometimes overplan and over prepare your birth plan and instead it’s better to think ‘how can I have fun with this process?’ and discern who is helpful to listen to and who is giving unsolicited advice. I think what’s important is to think about what is going to help your family and your specific situation rather than what everybody else says motherhood should look like.

What tips would you give to mother’s wanting to breastfeed, Chantelle?

Chantelle: Firstly, don’t be influenced by anyone else. It’s so important to feed how you want to feed whether that’s express, formula or breastfeeding. I breastfed my first but had no experience breastfeeding twins so I went away and learnt how our bodies make milk. Do as much research as possible to feel in control over your body and have the knowledge to get over any hurdles that come your way. The most important thing for a successful breastfeeding journey is to know what can go wrong, know the signs to look out for and know who you can go to for help. I had the most helpful twin and triplet facebook group to lean on during the hard times.

Illy: Let the decisions around how you feed your child be your decision. You’re so vulnerable at the beginning, hormones are all over the place and everyone has something to say. You just have to block out the noise and decide what you want to do.

Illy, how do you manage to juggle everything?

Illy: Oh, I don’t! It’s chaos, actual chaos but it’s about having realistic expectations. The way I break it down is: what needs to be done and what doesn’t and then I just prioritise. I ask myself ‘how are you going to be able to function, raise this child, look after the house and do your job?’ and it’s just about prioritizing yourself. Society wants us to believe that self care is selfish because motherhood is often painted as martyrdom but it shouldn’t be. We need to prioritise ourselves so we can give our best to our children.

Ola, anything to add?

Ola: For us, it was not being afraid to be unconventional in our parenting. There are so many societal and cultural influences and sometimes there’s a fusion of the two which makes things even more confusing. You’ve got aunties saying you should do one thing and close friends you went to school with saying another thing. Looking after your mental health has to be unconventional because there’s only one of you and there’s no step by step manual. A lot of mothers have started booking a hotel stay every month just so they can get 8 hours sleep and enjoy room service and it’s important they do this without guilt. When you prioritise your mental health it becomes up to you to decide ‘I deserve this’.

Is there anything you’d tell your pre-baby self to prepare for birth?

Illy: As a midwife I know the way things go. I knew what would happen and I feel like I was prepared. Again, you need to centre yourself to prepare for birth so that decisions are made with you not around you. Remind yourself that you are not a vessel to bring a child into the world, you are an active participant in birth.

Ola, do you have any advice on dressing your bump?

Ola: The first time round everyone wears stripes because there’s this idea of what a pregnant woman should look like but with each baby you have you get a new found appreciation for your body. The most body confident I’ve ever been was when I was pregnant because I was creating life. Pregnancy clothes don’t have to be frumpy. Innovation makes pregnancy a lot more attractive so when brands like RI Mamma make clothes that embrace our hips and bigger boobs that’s progress.

Illy: When it comes to being pregnant and plus size, brands just add excess fabric around the belly which isn’t flattering. When you find clothes that aren’t just for your bump but for your shape outside of pregnancy, you can feel incredible. We need brands to realise that women of all shapes and sizes get pregnant because when clothes hold and support you like they’re supposed to, that’s when the magic happens.